Da-Da

It's 8:30am I have been home from work for about an hour now. Ive checked my mail, ate a yogurt & have been playing around on my facebook doing stuff. I should probably go to bed but my body is itching like crazy. I dont know if its because of one of the people I work for. He is always itching or if its something biting me or it could just be im going nuts.  I thought about showering again but I hate to waste water if its just in my mind. Ill sit here & unwind then decide.

Anyways to start this off, My daughter will be 6 months on the 21st of April & she blows my mind. She smacks her hands together like shes playing patty cake, of course not around me. She is crawling, moving in her walker, attempting to sit up with no support but the thing that really got me yesterday was her 1st real audible words. She was mad & she yelled da-da-da da! I couldn't believe it, my jaw dropped. My husband thinks its just sounds shes making & it happened to be that "She doesn't even know what it means" he stated which could be true BUT, she will know & by the time she knows ma-ma may not have even brushed her mind. I've tried to coast her into saying mama first but guess it didn't work out. There's always our next child, one of them is bound to speak my name 1st.

I feel I have been slacking as a mother, letting my mother in law do alot for my daughter. I want to step up to the plate & just start taking over. She is my daughter, I mean not my mother in laws & she shouldn't have to do everything. I know she doesnt mind but I do. Makes me feel gross. i want to be able to show people the new things she is doing not vise-Vera. Im vowing from this day forward to do more. Doesn't matter how I feel or how many hours I worked or lack of sleep. I want my daughter to do things for me & want to spend time with me & rely on me not jsut smile because she gets to see my for a few hours before work.

Lately I felt as tho Im going thru that post pregnancy depression but at the same time Im unsure. One day im happy the next sad. I feel fat & ugly but then I feel normal. It could be lack of sun or vitamins & food. I gotta start being more healthy for me , my husband & our baby girl.

I think ima take a shower feel like things are crawling on me.

                Until next time my friend